Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Wherein I Shockingly Find Flaws In Mickey's Logic


/deep breath

Let's pretend that Obama really is acting according to Mickey's Machiavelli-by-way-of-Rube-Goldberg plan to encourage illegal aliens to flood the United States by planting a story in the New York Times -- the migrant worker's paper of record, you see -- about the possibility of taking up immigration reform in the next year and thereby inducing illegal immigrants to enter in hopes of being granted amnesty, *all* in an effort to increase the population in certain areas -- nudge nudge -- for the 2010 census.

/another deep breath

(1) What exactly is keeping these illegal immigrants, surprisingly attuned to the flow of American political news, from going to Texas? Or Arizona? Do the Democrats really want to add congressional districts and electoral votes in those states?

(2) Was there some sort of code word in the Times story -- the first letter of every paragraph spells out 'Go To Santa Monica'! -- that directs them to the appropriate states? [Where do you suppose illegal immigrants get these secret decoder rings? -- ed. From the Money Liberals, naturally.]

(3) All that aside, why would this necessarily help Democrats? It's a zero-sum game, right? How is it better to add a district in California if it's coming out of, say, Pennsylvania?

I have to say, it's pretty astounding that, among all the ignorant bleating and right-wing fearmongering about the evil uses of statistical sampling, Mickey actually came up with a crazier, dumber paranoid fantasy about the 2010 census.

I've changed my mind. Don't ever leave.